You Are Going To Be The Villain In Someone’s Story Anyway… So Stop Trying To Please Everyone

People-pleasing is just self-neglect disguised as kindness

Somewhere along the way, a lot of us were taught that being a “good person” meant constantly showing up for everyone else.

Always saying yes.
Always being available.
Always making sure nobody is upset with us.
Always putting ourselves last.

But here’s something I need you to understand.

You are going to be the villain in someone’s story regardless.

No matter how kind you are.
No matter how much you give.
No matter how much of yourself you sacrifice trying to keep the peace.

Someone, somewhere, will still misunderstand you.
Someone will still feel entitled to more.
Someone will still decide you disappointed them simply because you stopped abandoning yourself for their comfort.

And honestly?

Who cares.

You Cannot Please Everyone

Think about ice cream.

You can make the best vanilla ice cream imaginable.

Perfect flavor. Perfect texture. Made flawlessly.

But if someone simply prefers chocolate…

Nothing you do is going to make them choose vanilla.

And there is nothing wrong with the vanilla.

It just was never for them.

And life works the same way.

You can be the kindest, most thoughtful, most giving person in the room and some people still will not like you.

Not because something is wrong with you.

Not because you need to change who you are.

But simply because you are not for them.

So stop exhausting yourself trying to force acceptance where it was never meant to exist.

Why Do You Feel Responsible For Everyone?

This is for my people pleasers out there.

And honestly… caretakers too.

Why do you feel this constant obligation to make sure everybody around you is okay?

Where is that coming from?

Why do you feel responsible for fixing everything?

Why are you so committed to making sure everybody else is comfortable while you quietly neglect yourself?

Sit tf down for a second and ask yourself something.

What exactly are you gaining from doing this?

Because if all you’re left with is exhaustion, resentment, burnout, and feeling drained…

That should tell you everything.

Put Your Own Oxygen Mask On First

I was on a flight recently and heard the same safety announcement we’ve all heard a thousand times.

“Please secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others.”

And for some reason this time…

It really sat with me.

Have you ever stopped and wondered why flight attendants specifically tell you to help yourself first?

Because if something happens and oxygen levels drop, you cannot help the child sitting next to you if you’ve already passed out trying to save them first.

You become useless to everybody around you the moment you neglect yourself.

And somehow we understand this concept perfectly on airplanes…

But completely ignore it in our everyday lives.

We exhaust ourselves trying to fix everyone around us.

We pour endlessly into others while quietly running on empty ourselves.

We convince ourselves that helping everybody else somehow makes us a good person while simultaneously abandoning our own needs.

But life works the exact same way.

If you are mentally exhausted… emotionally drained… spiritually depleted…

How exactly do you expect to genuinely show up for others in a healthy way?

You can’t save people while simultaneously drowning yourself.

So stop feeling guilty for choosing yourself first.

Sometimes helping yourself first is the very thing that allows you to help others at all.

Want To Help Others? Help Yourself First.

People think prioritizing themselves is selfish.

It’s not.

You want to know one of the best ways to genuinely help others?

Help yourself first.

Protect your peace.
Heal your wounds.
Stabilize your emotions.
Take care of your own mind.

Because you can’t pour from an empty cup, so make sure you fill yours first.

Your energy will thank you.

People Will Push Back… And That Should Tell You Everything

Now here comes the uncomfortable part.

The moment you stop being available all the time…

People will notice.

And some people will get upset.

But pay attention.

The people who get angry when you set boundaries are usually the same people who benefited from you having none.

They were comfortable using your energy.

And now, suddenly, you choosing yourself becomes the problem.

Good.

Let them be uncomfortable.

It Will Never Be Enough

You want to make everybody happy?

Good luck.

Because it will never be enough.

You can sacrifice your peace.

You can give away your time.

You can bend yourself into impossible shapes trying to meet everyone’s expectations.

And somehow…

They’ll still want more.

Trust me.

I’m speaking from experience.

Stop Letting People Treat You Like You’re Convenient

What are you?

A f**king Pokémon?

People choose you when it feels convenient.

Then disappear the moment they’ve gotten what they needed.

And because you’re so used to being the reliable one…

You allow it.

Again.

And again.

And again.

You spend so much time making yourself available for others that eventually you forget who you are outside of serving everyone else.

Enough.

Learning Your Limits Is Not Cruel

I’ll be honest.

I’m not really the friend who is always there for people.

And years ago I probably would have felt guilty admitting that.

But experience taught me something important.

A lot of people are not nearly as loyal to you as you are to them.

I’ve had friendships that made me realize not everybody who calls you a friend genuinely cares about you.

Sometimes people stay connected simply because you are useful to them.

And after dealing with enough one-sided relationships…

Something changes.

You stop overextending yourself.

You stop forcing connections.

You become extremely selective with who gets access to you.

So yeah…

I don’t have many friends.

And I rarely feel the need to constantly build new connections either.

Not because I dislike people.

But because past experiences taught me to be careful about who I allow around me.

And honestly?

I’m okay with that.

I’d rather protect my peace than keep repeating cycles that taught me hard lessons.

You Are The Villain In Someone’s Story

Trust me.

There are probably people from my past who resent me.

Maybe because I disconnected.

Maybe because I stopped entertaining relationships that no longer aligned with who I was becoming.

But I genuinely do not care.

And neither should you.

The moment something stops serving you…

It is okay to let it go.

Stop Holding Onto Expired Relationships

You know what we do when bread starts growing mold?

We throw it away.

At one point, it was fresh.

Useful.

It served its purpose.

But once it expires?

Holding onto it becomes harmful.

And if you keep consuming it anyway…

Eventually, it makes you sick.

Relationships work the same way.

Holding onto people you no longer energetically align with can drain you physically, emotionally, spiritually… all of it.

So instead of allowing old relationships to slow down your growth…

Throw it away.

It Will Feel Lonely At First

If you’re just beginning this journey…

I know it feels hard.

Maybe you genuinely love being around people.

Maybe being around others feels easier than sitting with yourself.

Maybe deep down you know the company around you isn’t good for you…

But being alone scares you more.

And I get that.

But if being alone feels uncomfortable for you, I actually wrote another piece on this about learning how to become comfortable in your own presence, and it’s linked here.

Learning how to become comfortable in your own presence is one of the most important things you can learn.

Sometimes we stay attached to unhealthy relationships simply because we’re terrified of solitude.

But once you stop needing other people to constantly fill space in your life…

You stop accepting relationships that drain you simply because you’re afraid to be alone.

And that?

That is freedom.

Always evolving,
Impera

Check Out My Rebirth Collection Now ✧

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